Learning to Fall

There are times,
When the thoughts of tomorrow cancel out the thoughts of yesterday.
Usually, these times coincide
With when I look into your eyes,
And I feel the moonlight
That searches your face
For every time your smile
Is engraved,
Into the heart that you made.

A Heart that skips 10 million beats
Because it becomes a want more than a need.
And when every freckle on your face
Makes up a dot to dot that
Defines your place,
Sometimes you need to draw with black chalk on a white board.
You need to get your hands dirty
So that in order to make things clean
You have to repaint the sky
With days that only might have been.

So if you’re learning to fall,
I’ll catch you,
And throw you back to the stars,
Because if you long to fly
between the diamond skies,
you’ll have longer to try.
And with every moment you steal,
Electric sparks grow in your fingertips
That have turned into lightning
Before you’ve even had the chance to breathe.

And if being close means I have to draw you the night,
So you can keep it held tight
Then godforbid
I’ll grab a pen and draw it in permanent ink;

Because forever belongs to tonight.

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Clutching Stars

Despite the fact that people tell you they love you, 
You’re backed up behind a vale.
You’re clenching the stars so tight in your hands,
That even their light threatens to extinguish. 
And you’ve finally suffocated 
Under the weight of the doubt that has constantly tried to drown you.

Because everyone’s eyes are windows,
And their minds are made up of wrecking balls that consist of judgement,
That swing into your walls 
In a vain but whole hearted attempt to break them down.
And piece by piece,
Chunk by chunk,
They forge deeper cracks
Into what feels like forever.

But you can’t deny the pain
When it smacks you across the face,
Leaving a hand shaped mark 
That contains every single finger of blame
You’ve ever had pointed your way.
Because with every word that created a scratch,
Every snicker that wound up in a bruise,
Every night that turned into day
Before the monsters clocked off to get paid,
You found yourself falling deeper into forever. 

Alive.
But not really living.
So You reach to take the hand that extends itself through the crowd,
like it’s a rendition
Of your favourite song 
that breaks out of your headphones and into your heart 
because it’s coming to give you a hug. 
To let you know that everything’s okay.
To hold you through the nights
When just a simple touch would spark your nerve endings enough 
to stop you from shooting yourself in the head 
with a bullet that was made of gold dust.

Every wall you put up,
Is several feet thicker when you try to break it down.
So be prepared.
Be vigilant.

Be wary.
Be strong.
Be confident.
Be considerate.
Be the light that the sun cowers away from because it’s scared of the power you posses.
Play havoc with the monsters that live under your bed,
Because you’re the one who’s in charge. 

Not them.

Trees

I have a way of working things out
And it starts with a tree.
You dig down with the roots
Like you’re going the wrong way,
While the creases in your hands can taste the dirt,
And your sturdy ground
Begins to fray.
But when you get far enough,
You reach the heart of where you’re heading,
Where your problems are no longer seen.
You can’t feel them forming into your solutions foundations,
But believe me, that’s why they’re there.
To hold you upright when the wind decides to take your most important breath,
To pull you back down to earth when the gravity falls from beneath your feet
And the only sense you can see is amongst the stars;
So you stay put.

And then you grow upwards with the trunk.
You pack everything you have
Into a space that is already dense,
A waiting room that is already full,
Because none of the doctors are in today.
And you rely on the solidity of your own self,
To not collapse in on itself,
To hold your world as it ages with wonder,
To hold the secrets of every part of you.
As the sap is the tears that carry you through,
You feel.
You let it wrap round you like the blanket you had as a child.
And the leaves begin to whisper.

They rustle your hair
And the sun shines through them
Like it’s peering into every thought you’ve ever had,
And every branch becomes your mind,
Covered in a million new thoughts,
Each of which you take the time to memorise,
But barely recognise.
And as the sun rises above your head,
You see yourself from the ground below.
And the you that’s underground,
Emits the sound
Of a life you didn’t know you had.

And so what, if you wanna open up like a flower when it tastes the first drops of spring,
And feel the first breath your heart took
As you fell to your knees,
Because all this bark is a part of you,
Every leaf falls off its branch,
But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,

Because your life is beautiful.