The Love of You

If I were to line my heart,
with fingerprints
and fireflies,
I’d forget the lights
and fray my mind,
to keep the love of you.

False Advertising

When I tell you I love you,
I don’t say it lightly.
It doesn’t just roll off my tongue,
it takes effort.
Like how planes have to reach speeds before they fly,
Like how the earth has to keep turning or we’d fall out the sky,
I can’t just say “I love you” and not mean it.

When I was 5, love meant family.
When I was 10 I learnt that love can sometimes break,
When I was 15 I learnt that picking up pieces of broken glass
will do more damage than just leaving them,
When I was 18, I no longer knew what love was.
True I had knowledge,
But it’s like an advert for a product you haven’t got,
you can reiterate what they tell you,
but until you’ve owned it
you don’t know.
You can’t teach people the secrets,
you can’t explain how it works,
you can’t recommend it to anyone,

Because you don’t know.

When I was 18, I finally bought it.
I finally bought into the thought that this would be a good idea.
Because getting hurt wasn’t in the item description
Damages were covered with a fresh coat of paint,
And I was getting something used,
but it was advertised as new.

And surprise surprise…
it broke.

And I had nothing left to do.
No receipt was given to me,
No return terms and conditions,
this broken thing in my hands was all I had left.
The pieces of glass wedged between my fingers where his hands uncomfortably sat,
The scratches on my heart when a week in he told me “I love you.”
It didn’t work, but nor did I want it to.
So I smashed it up,
I beat it down,
because what it gave me wasn’t what I paid for.
I deserved more.

So I exchanged it.

I traded for something new.
And along with that came
something borrowed
something old
and something blue.

I traded for you.

Because when you hold my hand
you do it right,
you accepted me when I said
“Turn off the light”
Your words left me with sparks,
not bruises
and when you said “I love you”
You meant it.

You came with a lifetime Guarantee
because you were made from different parts,
When every part of me ends,
I know that’s where you start.
You made me spell “love” like I was learning for the first time

L: Like nothing I’ve ever known before
O: Obstacles don’t seem so scary when I’m with you
V: Veins that no longer carry my blood but yours,
E: Everyday I’m with you is like new.

I’ve never wanted to learn so much in my life,
And you’re the kind of teacher I’d never had.
You taught me that being me,
Was beautiful.

So when I tell you

“I love you”

I don’t say it lightly.

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